Jaws pt 3

The killer shark believed to be responsible for the deaths of two local swimmers has been caught and killed by a group of nearby fishermen.

The shark was captured only one mile southwest of Amity and was brought ashore, where renowned shark expert Matt Hooper, marine biologist fromm the Woods Hole, Ma., Oceanographic Institute, inspected the animal and determined it to be a nurse shark, which are among the most brutal and deadly species of sharks and are responsible for hundreds of fatal attacks along the east coast.

Police Chief Martin Brody announced the reopening of local beaches for the upcoming holiday, and encouraged locals to swim and have fun.
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While shark spotters from the Coast Guard, Marine Patrol, Massachusetts State Police, U.S Navy, and the FBI among others remain in the area,  Brody assured swimmers that their presence is merely a safety precaution, and that the waters are now safe for swimmers.

Don’t reach for those swim-trunks just yet—local Amity residents would be ill-advised to tread the waters of local beaches after two bloody incidents that authorities now believe may be shark-related.

In the wake of a fatal attack on Alex Kintner, 10, leaving only a bloodsoaked raft bearing large bite marks, concerned Amity residents are now scrambling for answers as to whether or not a shark is to blame for the event as well as the recent death of Chrissy Watkins, 17, at another nearby beach.

Amity Chief of Police Martin Brody announced plans to close the town’s beaches on July 4^th to avoid any further attacks at a recent meeting with the Amity Board of Selectmen. Mayor Larry Vaughn interjected, saying that the beaches would remain closed for a maximum of 24 hours. A small crowd of concerned townspeople were also present, including mother of recent attack victim, Marion Kintner, who announced her family’s offer of a $3,000 bounty to anyone who is able to catch and kill the attacker responsible.

Local fisherman Quint was able to silence the frantic chatter of the meeting’s attendees and make his presence known with the screeching of his fingernails across a chalkboard in the back of the room. Quint continued to express his certainty that a shark is to blame for the attacks, upping the ante to $10,000 for the capture of the beast.

Jaws Sidebar

*DISCLAIMER- Okay, like Charlie, I too emailed two experts from the UNH Marine Science program, neither of whom got back to me in time, so I borrowed a source from Fosters (http://www.fosters.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20120715/GJNEWS_01/707159912)
I hate to do it this way, but desperate times call for desperate measures.


Despite the recent Amity Island shark attacks resulting in the deaths of two swimmers, New Hampshire beach-goers have nothing to worry about.

Last week, Chrissy Watson, 17, and Alex Kint, 10, both of Amity, were brutally killed in what police determined were shark attacks. The events stirred a panic in beach-goers across New England, but local shark experts are assuring that New England waters remain safe, as the majority of the local shark population is made up of non-violent Blue Sharks. According to Tony LaCasse, spokesperson for the New England Aquarium, the commonly-feared Great White Shark is usually found only south of Cape Cod thanks to the Granite State's differing geography and relatively low seal population.

"Blue sharks are the most common large shark in New England waters," said LaCasse. "Shark density in New England and shark encounters in New England are really low compared to the rest of the country. But there are sharks there all the time, but they're generally off shore."

There have been 5 unprovoked shark attacks in New England since 1670, according to the International Shark Attack File, none of which were attributed to Blue Sharks.

While New Hampshire shark encounters may be rare, LaCasse encourages swimmers to remain cautious and alert, and to flee the scene in the case of a potential attack.

"When there's a shark presence people should still be getting out of the water," he said. "It's about being prudent and cautious. It's like any large wildlife and we need to closely monitor those kinds of animals."

JAWS story

Police are investigating the death of a local teenage girl after discovering her body mauled by an unknown attacker on an Amity beach this morning.

Victim Chrissy Watson, 17, was last seen alive leaving a nearby beach party with another teen, identified as Christopher P. Hoggenbottam III, the night before at about 11 p.m. Hoggenbottam informed police of Watson’s disappearance at approximately 6 a.m the following morning, claiming that she had entered the water at a remote section of South Beach the night before without returning.

After a brief search, the Amity High Schoolmangled body was found washed up on the beach by Police Deputy Jay Hendricks. In a recent press conference, Police Chief Martin P. Brody, who arrived on site shortly after, described it as “an extremely grisly and upsetting scene,” recalling the image of the victim’s jewelry-clad hand sticking out of a pile of sand and seaweed covered with crabs.

A local young boy was mauled at a local beach today in what police are saying appears to be a shark attack. The event is suspected to be linked to another recent attack, leading police to believe that

Martin P Brody.

No news from coroner

Hand sticking up out of the sand with some jewelry on it

In a pile of sand and seaweed

Crabs crawly

An extremely grisly and upsetting scene

Could have been a pack of wild dogs, known to roam that part of the island. Human attack not ruled out

Opportunities and Journalism

On Tuesday evening, I attended a speech about the misrepresentation of Muslim women in society in order to fulfill the class requirement of writing a speech story. Having no previous exposure to the topic, I was prepared to be bored to death upon walking into the MUB Theater, slouching in the cushioned movie theater seat with disinterest. To my surprise, the talk ended up holding my attention extremely well, and opened my eyes to an issue that I found pretty interesting. The speaker also expanded the topic beyond just Islam, transcending  racial and religious boundaries to express the philosophy of people being united in the universe by some divine force that exists between all of us. Pretty cool. The best part, though, was that afterward, I was treated to a variety of Arabic horderves by the people who organized the event. Everyone I talked to was extremely welcoming and friendly to me, gave me great quotes and interviews, and even talked with me extensively about career options in journalism. This event was certainly something I enjoyed, and would never have encountered had I not been there to document it as a news story. Thank you, journalism,  for opening my eyes to the subject, for the opportunity to meet so many interesting people, and for all the awesome food.

Roses are Red, Violets are... News?

Believe me, it wasn't easy to convince my mom that taking a poetry class was a good idea. In fact, she was kind of upset, concerned that I was wasting valuable time and money on a wishy-washy course that wouldn't help my career unless I planned on growing a beard and writing sonnets in my parents' basement for the rest of my life. I've had some interest and  experience in the subject over the past couple of years, but I knew that I wasn't going to try and become a poet or anything.  I had to explain to her that my reasoning behind the decision was to better my writing as a whole, hoping that my exposure to a more creative and imaginative form of writing would breathe new life into my creative process, and criss-cross with the more straightforward writing styles that I would use in the field of journalism.  Poetry seems to focus on the minute details in writing, requiring a deeper and more thoughtful kind of composition and reading. Now, almost all the way through the semester, I stand by my decision. I feel that the act of reading and writing poetry has allowed me a new perspective on words, sounds, rhythm (both conscious and subconscious), and has provided me even more versatility as a writer. It's like an outfielder on a baseball team playing a few innings on first base to gain a deeper understanding of the game, becoming much more aware of everything happening on the field. I'm glad that I was able to change positions, so to speak, and balance out one of the more rigid forms of writing with one of the most liberating creative practices, and I definitely plan on sticking to my interest in poetry so that I may never lose that creative spark in my journalistic writing.

Interview Niche = Found

In the past I have found myself struggling to conduct interviews, often getting nervous and scrambling for the next question to ask in my head--especially during phone interviews, when my poor hearing coupled with the inability to read body language or see the expressions on the person's face makes the interview even more painfully awkward. It wasn't until recently during a phone call with New Hampshire Surf Icon Ralph Fatello that I began to notice my skills improving. Knowing that Ralph is a notoriously aggressive character, I went into the interview with a prepared greeting and list of questions that I had written down in my notebook, and even practiced how I would answer the phone. Yeah, I was that cautious. 

What I expected to be a brief Q & A turned into a full-fledged conversation about surfing, philosophy, and numerous other things, lasting almost 40 minutes. During the interview, Ralph basically told me his life story and gave me much, much more information than I originally intended on obtaining, which was definitely a good thing; I got to know the guy really well in that short amount of time, and I was really happy with the amount of help he gave me. 

This interview definitely opened my eyes to how I should have been conducting my interviews all along. I realized that I shouldn't really treat interviews any differently than normal conversations, and felt comfortable asking the first questions that came to mind to help it move along smoothly. Even if the questions were unrelated to the subject of the interview, I think it helps to make the person feel more comfortable answering questions if you act--or truly are-- interested in every single detail they provide you with. So in short, I basically realized that preparation, relaxation, and earnest, deep curiosity are key in having the best interviews.

Choas in the Park Leads to Violent Police Chase, Leaves 5 Dead

Five New York  City civilians fell as casualties to a violent police chase through the city this Sunday, ending with the shooting of the suspected assassin.

New York City Police Detective Jimmy “Popeye” Doyle began his pursuit at the 35^th St. train station to the 15^th St. station in a comandeered automobile after being shot at by his target, Pierre Jeantot from a rooftop, accidentally killing bystander Betty B. Badluck while she was out walking her granddaughter. After a fast-paced chase trhough the city, Doyle met his target outside the train station, shooting him down with a single shot.

Police believe the event stemmed from an attempt by Jeantot to assassinate Doyle from a rooftop of an apartmen building at 1767 W. 57th Avenue, where police recovered an automatic rifle and several shell casings. After fleeing the original scene, both shooter and target embarked on a high-speed chase through the city, during which Jeantot boarded an elevated train and killed two conductors and one patrolman with a .44 magnum that was recovered from the scene.

Jeantot, 36, is suspected to have been involved with a French drug kingpin whom Doyle and partner Buddy Russo had been investigating. According to an email from Police Commissioner Ruth L. Ess, Doyle's use of a deadly weapon was justified under the circumstances, although a less bloody outcome would have been preferred.


"Let me just say it is always unfortunate when these incidents end in the loss of life. We would have preferred to see Jeantot prosecuted in the courts, and we believe Doyle was close to a breakthrough on the case. We commend Detective Doyle for his bravery an quick thinking under very trying circumstances. "

 Ess said that Jeantot entered the country on November 4 on a flight from Paris, France, and is suspected to be associated with a crime syndicate, laying the groundwork for a major heroin shipment from France to New York City. Two other men also suspected to be involved in the operation are currently being sought by police.

"We will continue a vigorous and thorough investigation into what appears to be a major smuggling operation," said Ess. "We will not sit while drug dealers walk our streets."

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Jon DeGennaro’s routine Sunday stroll through the park near W. 57^th Ave. was interrupted by the sounds of gunfire echoing from the brick walls of the adjacent apartment buildings.

The scene erupted in pandemonium as over a dozen pedestrians screamed and took cover in nearby buildings, behind trees, and by crawling on the ground. Overtaken by shock and panic, DeGennaro said that although he immediately recognized the explosive sounds as gunshots, it was unclear what was going on and where the shots were coming from.

It was when he saw a nearby woman lying face-down in the street when he realized the gravity of the situation's danger and retreated to a nearby Starbucks, where he remained for about 20 minutes until police arrived on the scene. The woman was later identified as Betty T. Badluck,63, of the Bronx, and was pronounced dead.

Following the original shooting, Detective Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle embarked on a high-speed chase across the city. The shooter boarded an elevated train, where he ended up shooting Roland Evans, 34, of Brooklyn, a 15-year veteran of the New York City Police Department, and Train Conductor Horacio C. Hornblower, 30, of White Plains in an attempt to hijack the train.

The shooter proceeded to break into the driver's cabin and hold Trainman Peter Howe at gunpoint, demanding that he take the train through the next stop without stopping. Overwhelmed by pressure and fear, Howe suffered a heart attack and died at the train's controls, leaving the train without a suitable driver. The train then crashed into another non-moving one, jolting the shooter and passengers forward.

The shooter exited the train and tried to flee the scene, walking to a nearby staircase, where he was met by Detective Doyle, who killed him with a single shot.

Zoo story so far...coming along slowly

The Durham Zoo erupted in a frenzied panic this morning as grumbling patrons poured from its gates and gun-bearing zoo workers scoured the grounds in search of an escaped and extremely dangerous spotted leopard.

The nearby elementary schools have been shut down as both zoo workers and local police search the zoo for Fluffy, a 146 pound carnivorous black and white-spotted leopard described as being “extremely dangerous” by Chief Zoologist Kitty Smith. According to Smith

“We urge anyone who encounters Fluffy to get slowly to the ground, go limp, and lay still. Avoid eye contact at all costs.”

 Fluffy’s disappearance was first noticed when the zoo was opened at 9:30 this morning. Zoo Director Gerry Durrell said that they have no idea where she might have escaped to or when she could have gotten out of her cage, and that she was last seen when the zoo was closed the night before at around 9 pm.

“She may have left the area, and she could be walking around Durham at this point,” said Durrell.

Mainstreet Pt. 2 - A Different Kind of Journalism

Winter is getting closer and so   the deadline for my final draft of my first Mainstreet Magazine article. It's been a challenge to work its writing into my schedule over the past few days, but it's coming along smoothly. I've been doing my best to add much more descriptive detail, tailoring my writing style to fit a much more open environment that allows a much higher word count. I've been following a formula similar to traditional news writing, only embellishing it with lots of detail and focusing more on imagery. I've decided to share my first introduction paragraph as a sample of what I mean:

It’s only minutes after sunrise when Jon Kiskinis pulls his gray Volkswagen into a parking space across from 12th Street on Ocean Boulevard in Hampton. He carefully opens the driver’s seat door and sets his rubber-clad left foot down on the rain-drenched pavement, peering over the salt-stained concrete seawall through a smokescreen of early-morning fog as the light offshore wind pushes his tangled morning hair onto his forehead. Less than a hundred yards away, mountainous lumps in the ocean’s surface approach the coastline, growing taller with every second. The lumps topple over, and hollow curls of whitewater pour from their peaks, cascading from right to left in picturesque perfection before pounding against the shoreline in a furiously powerful yet dreamily-orchestrated flume. This isn’t the Hampton Beach where parents take their kids on hot summer days or where teens go for fried dough and souvenir hoodies—this is the real deal, where local legends are made and the weak-willed watch from the sidewalk. 

Mainstreet

This week, I'm trying out a whole new type of journalism. After attending a meeting and pitching some ideas, I've been assigned to write an article for Mainstreet Magazine about New Hampshire surf culture. Although I'm excited, I admit that I do feel some nervousness in shifting my voice to fit in a publication I'm not too familiar with--this is, after all, my first time writing for a legitimate publication of any sort, which is why I've spent the past few days reading previous issues to better understand what type of writing and voice is generally used by other contributers. I have already talked to several of my friends who agreed to be interviewed as well as locally famous surf blogger and photographer Ralph Fatello, who agreed to let me use some of his photos in my work. I'll also be doing a companion piece, at the suggestion of one of the editors, on the best longboarding hills on campus. While the person that gave me the idea seemed to envision a map-style layout, I'm not sure what it will actually end up looking like. I want to somehow make it work together with the surfing piece, and am planning on using my knowledge of the local terrain to make this part as creative as possible and totally awesome.

Sunday Morning (RIP Lou Reed)

While doing my routine online news perusal this morning, I came across a bombardment of headlines on several sites all announcing the death of revolutionary rock and roll songwriter, poet, and icon Lou Reed. Rolling Stone, Yahoo News, and several Facebook pages all mourned the loss of the 71-year-old hero, yet none had any information regarding the cause of death except for a speculation that it may have had something to do with his recent liver transplant. Since this morning, pictures of Reed and stories of his passing now haunt cyberspace, giving off an eerie omnipresence as if his ghost lingers on in the photos. Ironically, he seems to be getting more attention on the day of his death than he probably had received in years, calling to mind the booming post-death popularity of other late legends like Tupac Shakur and Elvis Presley.
What struck me as the creepiest part of this news story its coincidence with "Sunday Morning", a song performed by Lou with his early group, The Velvet Underground. This being one of my favorite songs featuring Mr. Reed, I instantly opened my iTunes library and played it from my laptop speakers, and was overcome with grief and an uncanny, even supernatural feeling as chills descended down my spine; the song's appropriateness made the whole thing seem...planned? Or just perfect.
His body may be dead, but Lou Reed's spirit lives on through his music. RIP.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qK82JvRY5s

Wake up and smell the... science?

Every time I hang out with my 18-year-old science wiz of a brother, he usually makes a claim about some recent game-changing scientific discovery that he heard about; yesterday, he told me about a drug that was just created that may hold the cure for Alzheimer's disease. Every time he says something like this, I can't help but question just how true these statements are, as well as his sources' authenticity--how could such groundbreaking ideas and discovers fly under the radar without major media coverage that would allow me to hear about the? Apparently,  he hears about these things through a Facebook page called "I Fucking Love Science," where the page's operators continuously post articles about amazing scientific discoveries and facts. I thought it was an interesting--and certainly entertaining--news source, so I thought that I would share it with anyone who reads this and may also be interested. For anyone more interested in spiritually-oriented information, check out one of my favorite pages, "Spirit Science and Metaphysics," as well as "Higher Perspective." There is some really eye-opening stuff out there on these pages, and it deserves more attention.

Newspapers, Sammy Sosa, and Christmas Mornings Lost in Digitalization

Before being sucked into the world of music and surfing in my late childhood, I was an avid baseball follower and OBSESSIVE Chicago Cubs fan. Every morning, I would race outside to grab the Boston Globe, tear open its stretchy plastic vessel, and ravenously rip through the pages to find the sports section on my kitchen counter. I remember nervously checking the scores every day, looking through standings and statistics for Sammy Sosa's name--Sosa was my idol, the reason I loved the game. When I found out he was using performance-enhancing drugs, I felt as though I had been decieved and lied to by the man I looked up to for years. I was crushed, and my interest in the baseball unfortunately began to wane.
My interest was recently reawakened by the Red Sox and their triumph through the playoffs; I'm beginning to remember all the excitement I used to feel while watching games on TV, and it's hauntingly nostalgic. As I look back on my memories of checking scores on weekday mornings before school, I feel like an old man; nowadays, people rely on their smartphones for a much more convenient way of staying updated on their teams, and younger kids probably never pick up newspapers for this reason anymore. News is becoming more automated as digital news sources are replacing the black-and-white, musty-smelling newspapers of my childhood. I can't imagine a young kid getting the same excitement in checking his iPhone for Red Sox scores as I did with the newspapers; it was like Christmas morning every day for me, and this new way just seems too mundane.

News, Booze, and Local Liars

I recently read a news story about Erin Cox, a girl from the town next to mine being suspended from her volleyball team and losing her position as team captain for picking up her drunk friend at a party and giving her a ride home. The incident has been drawing national attention as Cox claims to be the victim of a flawed system, earning her many nation-wide supporters and causing many to question the moral values of the local authorities and their rigid policies.

Poor girl, right?

Well, this weekend my brother, who has met Cox a handful of times, told me that everything on the news is completely untrue; apparently, the entire story was completely fabricated by Cox in an attempt to get herself out of trouble. According to my brother, the situation's truth is known only among local high school students, many of whom are outraged at the self-proclaimed martyr's obnoxious Facebook posts begging for support and more attention.

When my brother told me this, I began to think about how so many news sources are helping to spread this story even though it is most likely entirely false. If and when her lies surface in court, I can only imagine the shock and backlash that will ensue as so many people discover that all the uproar has been for nothing but a bratty teenager's lies blown way out of proportion. I think that it's possible that some may be angry with news sources for reporting Cox's story, and may even lose trust of these sources for not checking the story's background. Maybe my brother is wrong and this girl really is a wrongful victim of the law, but if not, this could be an important incident in the world of journalism.

Deadlines, Chick Flicks, and Journalism

I'll be honest. This summer, I watched the movie,"He's Just Not Into You", a super-cheesey 2009 romantic comedy about relationships, out of boredom and curiosity. I don't usually watch "chick flicks", but I couldn't pass up a movie featuring my future wife, Scarlett Johansson alongside fellow goddess, Jennifer Anniston. Anyway, during one scene, two characters were having a pretty cliche conversation about love at a bar, and one of the lines from the male lead stuck out to me:

"Oh really? So you never wait until the last minute on a deadline or phone bill because secretly you kind of love the drama of not knowing whether or not you're going to make it?"

This really got me thinking about how I tend to wait until the last minute to do--well, almost everything. Not out of laziness, I assure you, but because I feel most focused when almost out of time. With writing, I usually am able to produce my best work when I am so pressured by the clock that I can't afford to turn my attention away. It could also come from a secret subconscious craving for the drama and excitement that comes with "not knowing whether or not I'll make it," as described in the movie. Either way, I've learned that without a deadline, my work suffers due to a lack of motivation. This is why journalism may be the best way for me to stay active as a writer because of the requirements and regular deadlines the business demands.

Portsmouth High School Detention Policy (In-class exercise)

Unruly Portsmouth High School students may be getting a wakeup call on Saturday mornings as part of a new policy suggesting special early weekend detention sessions.

School Board member Tim Steele propsed the sessions, which would require students to return to the school from 8am to noon several weekends throughout the year—a time when they might usually still be sleeping or watching cartoons—in an attempt to reduce the number of in-house suspensions and missed class time, but the idea is receiving some serious backlash from students and parents alike.

“I work six days a week—including Saturday morning—and it’s bad enough to get my son off to school Monday through Friday,” said local parent, Peggy Bacon. “Why should I have to worry about Saturday as well?”

Bacon continued with the claim that parents would pay for the policy in both ruined Saturdays and higher taxes. According to Steele, the policy would also include a $3,000 allocation per year for staffing.

Local resident Bob Farley of 64 Elm Street responded to parents’ complaints in favor of the new policy. “Parents can whine all they want about this, but maybe it’s time parents in America…

I Read the News Today, Oh Boy (RIP Jon Zygmont)

These were the words that echoed through my head as I discovered a story on a local news website about the suspected body of a missing UNH student being found in the Piscataqua River in Portsmouth this morning--the same words that I hear to the haunting melody sung by John Lennon every time I read a news story sad enough to strike a minor chord in my heart.
After going missing last week,freshman Jon Zygmont somehow died, yet no foul play has been suspected insofar as investigated by police. I didn't know the guy, but I found this story to be exceptionally sobering, as it's always sad to lose a fellow Wildcat. After reading this article, though, I was unsatisfied, still craving answers as to what happened to him. With so little information made publicly available, all we can do is wait for more to be revealed. As for right now, I send my deepest condolences to Zygmont's friends and family.

The original story can be read here:
 http://www.seacoastonline.com/articles/20130929-NEWS-130929751

Decisions, Decisions

Being an undeclared liberal arts student is an annoyingly stressful thing. I wish that I could give one-word answers when people ask me what I'm studying, but instead, I have to go through the process of explaining that I basically have no idea of what I want to do.

"Blah blah blah uh, I'm undeclared right now but I'm probably going to declare a journalism major cause I'm pretty sure I want to be a writer blah blah blah blah..."

But the other day, I met with my peer adviser to talk about my major. I told her that I like journalism and all, but I'm not sure if it's the type of writing I want to keep doing. She brought up different areas of study I could try, and I found myself allured by the idea of majoring in communications, something I had previously known next to nothing about, because of the broad range of career paths that it boasts; the list included everything from business and marketing to editing and writing. I'm not shaking off journalism completely, but I am now, for the first time in over a year, considering something else as a possible major. I just don't want to limit my options to strictly writing because my interests seem to change really quickly. Maybe m opinion will change by the end of this semester, but right now I'm just keeping an open mind as I focus on newswriting and see where it takes me.

Woah, There's a Surprise.

It's not every day that you open up a local newspaper and find an article about someone you (kind of) know. This morning, though, I picked up a copy of The New Hampshire with hopes to find something to inspire my blog, and there, on page four, was a story about a local UNH student who had been arrested for an unspecified illegal usage of computers and felonious sexual assault on a minor under the age of 16. When I realized the name of the student being charged sounded vaguely familiar, I ran a quick Facebook search. Sure enough, the name belonged to a kid who sat behind me in my public speaking class with whom I was usually partnered with for in-class exercises. Actually, he wasn't really even a "kid", as revealed by the article- he's 30 years old. This came as a pretty big shock to me; the nice, sort-of-normal guy who always struck up conversations with me about generally boring topics is actually a potential 30-year-old sexual predator... Really? I had noticed he hadn't been in class for the past week, but never expected an explanation like this. Thanks, TNH.

Chimapnzee Story In-Class Exercise

Durham zookeeper, Bob Saget, was still in a midnight daze as he arrived on Madbury Road in his company pickup truck, animal restraint stick in hand, where police lights flashed and several officers surrounded a Lexus with Wyoming license plates stopped on the side of the road.

After being woken up from a deep sleep by a phone call from the Durham police, Saget couldn’t help but wonder if this was all just a strange dream. He approached the Lexus, tightening his grip on his restraint stick, only to behold the shocking reality of a chimpanzee pressing its face against the glass windshield.

Perhaps the greatest shock of all was felt by Officer Susan Smythe, who began following the Lexus as it pulled out from in front of the Tin Palace on Main Street without its headlights on. She watched as the car continued onto Madbury Road, where it began to weave back and forth across the yellow line in a careless fashion 11 mph above the speed limit. Assuming the culprit to be another drunk driver, she pulled the car over, completely unprepared for the events that would follow.

               

When Smythe shined her flashlight through the car window, she was greeted by a lone chimpanzee at the wheel, surrounded by a mess of banana peels on the car floor.

"I almost fainted," said Smythe.

In Other News, the World is Awesome

How was your weekend? Good? Yeah, probably not as good as mine.

As fate would have it, I was blessed with the rare chance to go on a UNH Outing Club trip—my first ever hike to the summit of Mount Washington. While standing in dorm room with my phone in my hand last Wednesday, I received an email offering an open spot to the first person to respond. Naturally, I pounced on that shit, and scored the last seat in the blink of an eye.

Having never really hiked a mountain before (save one trek up Manadnock when I was like, fourteen, but that doesn’t count), I was a little unsure what to expect, but what I saw that day opened my eyes to a world of beauty beyond what I had ever seen. Now, this isn’t the sort of “news” that you’d expect to see in a newspaper or anything, but it’s definitely relevant to everybody who reads it.

At the summit, the view was breathtaking, if I could only ever use that word once. We looked out on the horizon, where a pale white ocean of clouds stretched over the surrounding land, only permeated by other mountains that resembled the crests of waves frozen in time, and I couldn’t help but imagine majestic whales gracefully weaving in and out of their peaks. I’m still not sure if the tears in my eyes were because of my utter amazement or the 40-to-60-mile-per-hour gusts of wind, but it could have been from some culmination of the two.

I’d love to show you pictures of what I saw, but that would only defeat the purpose of what I am trying to say here. Pictures tend to desensitize us to this sort of natural beauty; why climb to the top when you can Google Search thousands of photos and see the same sight through an Instragram filter? Don’t cheat yourself by thinking that the view on a laptop is as good as the real thing. Go climb a mountain. Go see stuff. Wake up.

Banana Business pt. 1

So the other day, I was going about other people’s business, per usual, as any other journalist would, and I stopped at Stillings Dining Hall to ask a few faculty members why there are never any bananas in the freaking fruit baskets anymore. To my surprise, they didn’t seem too thrilled with my purpose; the two goons I talked to appeared almost insulted at my accusations—like I was harshly critiquing a work of art they had slaved over for months. It’s fair, I guess, for them to react in such a way, but I didn’t mean it in a demanding , obnoxious fashion—and I approached the situation with my best manners, of course. They complied with me and answered my questions to some extent, but what I thought was the weird part was how I’m pretty sure the main guy I was talking to was covering his name tag with his arm as if I were taking in every word he said with some nosy, malicious intent to quote him (I was). I think he thought that I was being a punk, writing a silly exposé on his dining hall, so he thought he could just laugh me off. Well, the joke’s on you pal; I’m still quoting you as anonymous. If you’re going to take yourself so seriously, trip your mustache and quit wearing that stupid-looking chef hat. And bring me bananas.

Adapt.

I expected the process of finding stories and conducting interviews to be the most challenging for me at the beginning of this class, but I guess I was wrong. I found that it’s actually the act of writing in a journalistic fashion to be the toughest. You see, making the transition into newswriting is no easy task for someone who fills most of their work with metaphors, analogies, reflective writing, and other artsy mumbo-jumbo. It’s been a matter of convincing myself to shut the hell up about what’s going on inside my head and instead, focus on covering facts about the world around me. I've found that most of my writing is reliant on voice and self-expression, and newswriting seems to require a strict adherence to a more traditional voice that is uniform to that of most newspaper writers. Or at least that’s what I think when I read news; it all seems very focused and to-the-point, whereas my ADHD-ridden brain usually prohibits me from being able to stay inside the lines without getting distracted and doodling all over the page. I’m working on it.

Surf's Up!! (Finally)

As soon as I was presented with the task of finding another story, I knew that I would be covering the upcoming tropical storms that would be providing New Hampshire with waves (and me with happiness) for days. My roommate and I have been restlessly checking the tropical outlook and buoy readings for any signs of life for the past few weeks, and the possibility of good surf made it hard to think about anything else. A wave-deprived surfer is like a smoker who hasn’t seen a cigarette in days and will stop at nothing to fulfill their fiendish desire for a lungful of black smoke. My wave-withdrawal symptoms have been in full effect, and the idea of writing a news story about surfing is the “nicotine patch” that’s keeping me going. It may not seem like news to most people, but to me, it was the light at the end of the tunnel.

My News Habits

My news habits change depending on my location. For example, when I'm at home in Massachusetts, I usually find myself reading from the newspaper sections that litter my counter-top as i get ready for work in the morning. At school, I usually come across news stories on the internet, usually via Facebook posts from my friends and headlines on my email homepage. Besides that, word of mouth is probably the most common source of news in my life. If there is anything important going on that concerns me or anyone I know, it usually comes up in dinner table conversation. In general, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about the news, admittedly -maybe it's laziness, even apathy, that keeps me from staying up-to-date with the rest of the world, but the closest thing to "news" that I check on a regular basis is music news, along with weather and surf forecasts. I wasn’t too surprised to hear about my classmates’ news habits; Twitter and Facebook seem to be the most popular sources of news nowadays. 

Wind. Water. Glue. News.

Most obviously, news is an effective and convenient way of communicating the happenings of one's surrounding environment to the people they may affect, either directly or indirectly. It is our society's contemporary way of helping its members feel connected to each other despite their different professions, schedules and lifestyles. News is ever changing, both in its content and delivery, much like a vast and endless seascape born slave to the wind that governs its every motion. As journalists, it is our duty to keep this seascape, metaphorically speaking, as close to a true representation of the world beneath its waves as we can; we are cast as societal communicators between wind and water, providing our brothers with a worldwide view, expanding consciousness beyond bedroom windows and cubicle walls.
Glue. News is the glue that holds humanity together.